Tag: smile

This is just another day in my life…

Picture a small suburbian corner store.

Most of the people living in and around the area may not know each other, but we’ve seen each other before. We say hi or at least nod to each other in passing. It’s a pretty friendly day. I have an incredible addiction to TruMoo that draws me to the corner store almost daily.

As I approach the entrance, another patron approaches the same door and I open it for her. She seems surprised and looks at me like I just did something unheard of. I say, “After you.” I go and grab my Trumoo and as it happens end up in line behind that same woman.

As we’re in line we both seem to be cutting joke with the staff there (this is a regular thing) and the woman seems incredibly familiar, or maybe it’s the other voice yelling inside my head “GET HER NUMBER YOU MORON!” …there’s no doubt – she’s cute, outgoing and I place her at around 30(ish).

Still **something** stops me…it was totally subconscious. No rings, no ring marks, no indications that she’s an axe murderer…so why am I not engaging the conversation?!

She gets through with her purchases and the internal conflict in my subconscious is totally becoming audible to me.

I get through with my purchases just as she reaches the door and I am STILL not pulling the trigger. This simply isn’t me. I may not always make a move or engage someone that is interested, but it’s always a pretty conscious choice…yet still here I am and I can already tell. I’m not going to talk to her.

It turns into slow motion. She’s stopped at her car and is just leaning against it now smiling. I smile at her, she smiles back…

…and I get into my car and start driving away.

Yup. Not only did I not take advantage of the chance…I am getting the distinct impression I just totally choked…and THAT is not how it works in TonyTown. I may be a big dork, but striking up conversation isn’t usually a problem.

…I drive about ten feet forward. What the hell?! Am I turning into THAT guy?! The one that can’t approach someone on a dime? It’s not like I’m Don Juan or anything, but approaching and talking…lol…I’ve been doing that since I was born! She had a great personality and I am obviously interested…why not ask?!

At this point my brain does its thing and I manage to rummage through a gazillion years of memories to find the few that my subconscious had access to that apparently weren’t connecting with me.

That attractive and compelling woman and I had met before…and now I know why I was holding back. She was an ex of one of my oldest friends and undeniably one of the centerpoints of absolute psychotic behavior I and a number of my friends had ever encountered. She was the center of a number of trashed friendships and for a couple of those friends the crux of trashed relationships.

Now it was clear. Man…it’d been 10 maybe 15 years…I honestly don’t know if she’s still the same person. I just remember the windfall of crazy shit that happened to me at her hands.

I stopped the car for a sec and looked back her direction. Yup…there she was.

I move on and remember that my brain is incredibly functional and will sometimes look out for me even when I might be thinking about (or with) something else.

Yep. Just another day. ๐Ÿ˜‰

-Tony




Just thinking…

Famous I don’t know about. It’s hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, ‘Thanks, that was great, here’s some money, same time tomorrow, okay?’
-Terry Pratchett, Soul Music, page 151

I think Terry has the right idea.

Some people do what they do in life because thats what they’ve come to be good at and have found a comfort zone that they don’t really have to leave to maintain.

Some people find what they like, roll with it and with a smidgeon of luck, are able to do what they love so much that their comfort zone follows them.

For me it’s not about the comfort zone. It’s about being happy. I’ve been presented with that warm blanket of security so many times that now when it’s right in front of me I completley overlook it.

Back in my first year of college, I remember making a list of everything I wanted to accomplish in my life, and all those not requiring travel…I’ve done, but now I’ve also have time to realize that the list changes. Don’t get me wrong. I will still get my zen on a Great Pyramid…I will still get my dance on the Great Wall…

…now it’s getting time to add to the list… because the list needs to be about experiencing a smile in a million different places or scenarios.

The list really is about being happy.

…yeah…not much of a rant eh?

…the book is on that list too…halfway done…only took a few years right?

๐Ÿ™‚




Do monkeys put their info on the net. No They Dont.

Silly Questionaire

Do monkeys put their info on the net. No They Dont.

Do monkeys put their info on the net. No They Dont.

This was such an interesting set of questions from MySpace I am dumping them over to my Blog too.
{I cant believe this is from 7 years ago…lol!}

1.What were you doing last night at midnight?
Trying to get someone OUT of my bedroom.

2. What color shirt are you wearing?
Black

3. Have you made out with anyone who is a friend on myspace?
More than a few.

4. Do you have “a thing” for anyone on your top 8?
God yes.

5. Do you hold grudges?
Only where girlfriends are concerned.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
I got the tshirt, the hat, AND the trophy.

7. Do you have a good relationship with both your parents?
My father’s family doesn’t know i exist and my mother is on vacation 70% of the year. Figure it out.

8. Last movie you saw in theatres?
Clerks2

9. Name 3 things that you have on you at all times?
keys, phone, wallet…clothes not as much ๐Ÿ˜‰

10. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage?
Shower..then take turns

11. Name a teacher you have the hots for?
Heh, she wasnt a teacher when I was in school ๐Ÿ˜‰

12. How much cash do you have on you right now?
Enough to pay someone to rough you up.

13. Who’s the 4th person on your recieved call list?
My roomie

14. What’s the main ringtone on your phone?
Whats a ringtone?

15. What were you doing at midnight two nights ago?
Sleeping…wishing someone I actually liked was sleeping with me…

16. How many people on your friends list are ex’s?
I dont feel like counting.

17. What does your mom do for a living?
Author / Novelist

18. What’s your favorite city?
One that I dont live in.

19. Whats your favorite color?
Black and Silver

20. “I can’t wait until…”
I get some serious “me-time”

21. When was the last time you saw your mom?
Years…dont say it, I miss her enough without some jackass trying to talk to me about it.

22. What do you look for in a significant other?
Someone that knows what she wants, knows what she likes, and knows that we’ll spend years together making each other smile. The details can be figured out along the way…

23. How long have you been at your current job?
getting close to two years

24. Is Tom on your friends list?
nope

25. What’s the last thing you said outloud?
“I need your help”

26. What is the last thing/person you spent over $100 on?
Me – Car tune-up

27. What kind of shoes did you wear today?
Airwalk Leather Sandals

28. Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
shirt from a friend

29. “I really wish I drove a…
V-Rod

30. What website(s) do you go to?
too many

31. Go into your text message log on your phone whos the last person that texted you?
Max

32. Do you have an air freshener in your car?
nope

33. Do you have plants in your room?
nope

34. If you could drink anything this second what would it be?
A 57 Chevy
Southern Comfort / Gran Marnier / Amaretto
Pineapple / Cranberry / Orange

35. What are you listening to right now?
Keystrokes in the office

36. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my brain

37. What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
Houston

38. Last alcoholic drink?
Monopolowa

39. If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
Nope…but I might sleep better.

40. Do you own a picture phone?
not willingly

42. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?
Vinti Vanilla Quad Latte

43. Do you exercise as much as you should?
never

46. Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you?
never have, never will!

47. If I don’t like you..?
Your personal problems are just that…YOURS

48. Recent time you were really upset?
When i found out what was wrong with my car.

49. Are you thinking about someone right now?
Always

50. Last time you cried?
I dont have a tear-duct in my right eye…its literally just a small hole/tube that drains alot…no valve. Technically I am crying all the time so this question just doesnt have the same effect on me.

[2013/08/14]Soooo…I have nearly 800 posts on my blog, and the oldest of them are either broken or in need of some updates or link-fixes…so here I am slowly fixing all my oldest stuff. It’s kind of funny because this was something I picked up from Myspace…