Tag: advantage

This is just another day in my life…

Picture a small suburbian corner store.

Most of the people living in and around the area may not know each other, but we’ve seen each other before. We say hi or at least nod to each other in passing. It’s a pretty friendly day. I have an incredible addiction to TruMoo that draws me to the corner store almost daily.

As I approach the entrance, another patron approaches the same door and I open it for her. She seems surprised and looks at me like I just did something unheard of. I say, “After you.” I go and grab my Trumoo and as it happens end up in line behind that same woman.

As we’re in line we both seem to be cutting joke with the staff there (this is a regular thing) and the woman seems incredibly familiar, or maybe it’s the other voice yelling inside my head “GET HER NUMBER YOU MORON!” …there’s no doubt – she’s cute, outgoing and I place her at around 30(ish).

Still **something** stops me…it was totally subconscious. No rings, no ring marks, no indications that she’s an axe murderer…so why am I not engaging the conversation?!

She gets through with her purchases and the internal conflict in my subconscious is totally becoming audible to me.

I get through with my purchases just as she reaches the door and I am STILL not pulling the trigger. This simply isn’t me. I may not always make a move or engage someone that is interested, but it’s always a pretty conscious choice…yet still here I am and I can already tell. I’m not going to talk to her.

It turns into slow motion. She’s stopped at her car and is just leaning against it now smiling. I smile at her, she smiles back…

…and I get into my car and start driving away.

Yup. Not only did I not take advantage of the chance…I am getting the distinct impression I just totally choked…and THAT is not how it works in TonyTown. I may be a big dork, but striking up conversation isn’t usually a problem.

…I drive about ten feet forward. What the hell?! Am I turning into THAT guy?! The one that can’t approach someone on a dime? It’s not like I’m Don Juan or anything, but approaching and talking…lol…I’ve been doing that since I was born! She had a great personality and I am obviously interested…why not ask?!

At this point my brain does its thing and I manage to rummage through a gazillion years of memories to find the few that my subconscious had access to that apparently weren’t connecting with me.

That attractive and compelling woman and I had met before…and now I know why I was holding back. She was an ex of one of my oldest friends and undeniably one of the centerpoints of absolute psychotic behavior I and a number of my friends had ever encountered. She was the center of a number of trashed friendships and for a couple of those friends the crux of trashed relationships.

Now it was clear. Man…it’d been 10 maybe 15 years…I honestly don’t know if she’s still the same person. I just remember the windfall of crazy shit that happened to me at her hands.

I stopped the car for a sec and looked back her direction. Yup…there she was.

I move on and remember that my brain is incredibly functional and will sometimes look out for me even when I might be thinking about (or with) something else.

Yep. Just another day. 😉

-Tony




Be a good person.

This is actually a quote from a really cool guy I met via another cool friend on Facebook. He fairly regularly posts some pretty insightful stuff, and this one really caught me.

So you want to be a good person? Do what’s right? Here’s the deal, you’re going to be hated…Hated for reasons you’ll never fully understand. People are going to say things about you: lies and over exaggerations about your past. People are going to take advantage of you, cheat you, lie to you, steal from you because you know it’s no good to be untrusting. You will be taken for granted. You will not be respected and you will suffer and, yet, you will walk with grace through it all…and grow and grow and you won’t stop…because you made a commitment…and it’s far from the easy path…but you are good person…stay true…do the right thing and, in the end, nothing will stop you. Being good is it’s own reward. It will all make sense in time…and remember, you weren’t always a good person yourself.

-Aaron Manley Smith

He’s right. When you think about it, doing good things IS it’s own reward. There are a tons of people out there that are under the mistaken impression that they will not succeed if they don’t take the time to stop and help others do the same, and I feel bad for them, because in doing good things, you lead by example. You teach others that you should never be reluctant in helping those that need it.

A couple months ago a friend and I were driving back to Dallas from a long trip visiting friends, and the craziest thing happened. We’re on our side of the highway, and the lanes going the other direction we at least 20 yards away, but something was really wrong because I was seeing headlights directly ahead of us and coming fast. I swerved quickly onto the shoulder of the highway as a sports car zoomed by at about 60mph going the wrong direction on the tollway. My friend and I just kindof looked back stunned wondering what the hell just happened. We then called the state troopers and let them know about it. Just as we finished the call and were about to pull back onto the highway, a truck pulled up behind us.

The driver got out and walked up to my window and asked if I needed help. Why? Because I had my blinkers on and it was late at night. He wasn’t some horror figure from a bad movie, he was being a good person. I kick myself when I remember this because THAT is the exact kind of person I like to meet. I wish I had gotten his name so I could invite him over to meet the crew, etc.

If we as a society made sure to impress this behavior as a moral obligation rather than playing the ignorance or indifference cards I think our lives would be quite a bit better. I know I come off as a bit hardcore about this type of perspective though. I still tell people this, “The only divinity you will ever experience is your own.” It’s not meant to discredit anyone’s beliefs, it’s meant to get people to make an effort to make and experience their own miracle. I think walking THAT path affords you a far brighter journey.

Just my .02 😉

-Tony