Quick thought on our history…

Just going to put this out there…our perspective of our own history (as Americans) is almost always myopic and exaggerated. Everyone wants to think that these horrible events have not happened to us before, or recently…or inferring lots of other caveats to justify the semantics of our aims.

The events we are experiencing, Texas, Florida, Puerto Rico, Las Vegas…this has all happened before, and with each passing, as a culture we react, as individuals we react, and thereby give power to improving ourselves, our ability to persevere, and our ability to understand.

…but only if we stop trying to act like this is new to us, that this is not our nature culturally. That this is not US allowing this to happen, or reacting with indifference or ambivalence solely because it is not an ethical or moral imperative for you.

Sometimes I just find it offensive to have to wade through mountains of content solely published geared to get us to react…because rather than foster solutions, it causes up to become myopic and dwell on problems and assigning blame.

Not that I feel we have any control over the weather…or the human condition, but at some point I just think we’ll be better if embrace an ethical boundary that is more sympathetic to our basic quality of life rather than it profitability and viability to commercial influencers.

/end rambling thoughts…



A Toast to Chester…

Music is Life

I make no secret about the importance music has in my life. At least an hour of my day has music in it intentionally. Not a schedule. Every day i pick the jams. It has had such a profound effect on me that for a long time I would even write in some blog entries on it in Tony’s Music. You can totally say Tony is a dork. But the reality is that music has always been my escape. It has been the voice of reason, expression, intent, consolation, and every other little voice we all have in the back of our head (it isn’t just me right?) *grin* when something really messed up is happening.

Suicide Sucks

Suicide has always been a bane for me. Like a lot of people, I simply dont deal with death very well (read THESE) and suicide is even worse. So in getting the news today it really left me numb…upset…angsty…the same thing every other time suicide makes an appearance in my life…I try to figure out how or why I didnt see it coming, why I didnt reach out more…all the stupid things and idea that rummage through your head when you try rationalize what just happened.

The Concert is a no-go for me

I was planning on being at the Linkin Park concert coming up in October. I was going to enjoy the concert on my terms without 50000 screaming fans weren’t all up in my space. 😉 But now…I don’t think that concert is a good idea for me…it well known that I don’t really do well at wakes, and thats what an LP concert would be to me now…a great big wake with 10000 other people there that are probably thinking the same thing. When I am at my most sensitive, there is always some asshat at a wake that I visibly have trouble restraining myself from shutting him up. Rather than be that guy…it’s just easier (and probably a bit more responsible) not to allow that kind of scenario to play out. I find something fun to do and relax and remember all the awesome things. A concert full of drunk people isn’t fun…for me its a fracking powderkeg. So that’s a big ol’ nope.

So while this week has been insanely busy…Chester’s suicide has totally been crawling around in the back of my mind…

One More light

Should’ve stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

Well I do

Find Linkin Parke here.

FYI – Sometimes I talk a lot about death, it’s a coping mechanism or some facsimile thereof. 😉 You can see all the other posts like that HERE.



Why we need to let go of the hate.

tonytow tony hunt gets angsty

Some things just absolutely tick me off.

For reasons that don’t matter here, my usual stance is that I am an equal opportunity hater to all political parties, lately we have relied on politics to clarify events, rather than vice versa. This sounds really antithetical considering the title of this post, right?

Here is why. We need No More Stupid. We need to think, and be better.

I think we’ve stopped holding ourselves accountable for the results of what we say and why we say it, and more often say what we want without regard to consequence, rather than ensuring what exits our mouths is at least more appealing than fingernails on a chalkboard. This would not be so bad, but this candor is now taken to the streets, because protesting is legal (well it is supposed to be legal anyway.) Protesting is great for making an issue more known, but as last week’s events show…it is now an opportunity to foster fear rather than to enlighten the masses.

All that said, I firmly believe everyone has a right to have confidence, faith, or lack thereof in anyone or anything they please…. until their sentiment presents a danger to or otherwise interrupts others’ access to those same freedoms. Period. This means that if you don’t like someone that is your prerogative, as long as you aren’t running them over with your car, laying in front of their car on a highway, shooting at them, talking down to them, deliberately provoking them, and/or otherwise being a complete asshole to them. At that point, I stop allowing you to affect my life and my loved ones. Period. It is amazing how many good friends stick around when I have these rules, but it’s also pretty sad to see where other convictions are so narrow in scope that they feel it is necessary to provoke others that don’t share a disposition.

Sometimes also it is a harsh disappointment when it is indifference that is the motivator, because indifference is social/moral/ethical cowardice, but I think that will be the topic of another post.

Lately I am seeing some people get violent over racism. I have to admit there is a kneejerk reaction to kick a person in the face upon hearing that they seriously somehow think that any demographic of humans is inherently less deserving of freedom, happiness, respect, and love than any other. But that inclination never stays long, and the urge to high-five them in the face (with a chair maybe) easily turns into a smile and as long as they are not getting in the way of others freedoms, peace be until them. Unfortunately, how things work for me is not happening for many many others, and now far too many people are posturing themselves to promote violence rather than rise above and inform and educate.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really care about statues. Being practical, war monuments will always piss people off. Always. We protect a lot of sick shit in the name of preserving history, but it’s not unilateral and not all offensive to the entire world. I care that the American people are letting themselves be the monster we all hate by fostering hate to fuel the importance of their agenda. Instigating violence

I think it is best stated that in fighting to clarify what is at best a turbulent national identity, we all strive not to redefine our history, and thus doom ourselves to forgetting very important and hard-won lessons in the many wrong choices we have made. Let’s not doom ourselves to repeating histories mistakes by omitting it. So yeah, do whatever with statues. But don’t cry ignorance to historical precedence when people stop having any historical clarity because we’ve sanitized the shit out of our culture in the effort to keep a sensitive subject unspoken and without reminder.