Road to Nowhere
by Bullet for my Valentine
It’s so weird. How long ago doesn’t matter now…a few years back, I’d made a hard decision. It was the kind of decision you make when a potential relationship presents itself that looks completely like a fast road to a not-so-quiet grave. So when I said no, it never occurred to me that she saw “us” me as a way to break away from living in a bottle, rather than my impression that it was an invitation to spend the rest of our days looking through tequila-stained glasses. Of course, after pushing away from the relationship, we rarely spoke, and when we did she was harsh. It hurt to end such a long relationship/friendship (we’d met in college), but it hurt even more about a year later, when we’d found out she’d taken her life. Why doesn’t matter. What matters is this ominous feeling that I could have helped more, I could have not been oblivious, I could have not been such a hardass, I could have been the rope she needed to pull herself out of the rut she was in, rather than the rope she’d use to end it.