Tag: rant

In the Army…almost!

Something you might not know about me…I was in the Army…for about two days.

The Story…

Believe it or not…I was recruited and sworn into the Army at age 16 to become a Russian linguist. At the time, this was a DREAM job for me in so many ways, they weren’t just paying for school on the GI…I had a full ride for 6 years of school and OCS when I signed on for 8 years (all this was in writing).

Of course, this is ME…so nothing really goes as planned. Just two days after swearing in, a quack of a contract surgeon that wasn’t even a part of the MEPS staff examined my knee (required for anyone joining that had an arthroscopic surgery in the previous year), and determined that my kneecap was too loose for service in the military…thus permanently disqualifying me from service.

If you’d known me at the time, you’d know how bad a call this was on the doctors part.

This was a really pivotal point for me…because up until this point I had a plan, and it included a paid-for masters degree and an extra $60k sign-on for my first 8 years and made OCS mandatory. This wasn’t just school, it was a guaranteed career with some serious career opportunities available when I was done. When I found out I wasn’t going to be able to serve…it had an incredibly negative effect on me. I couldn’t do what i thought I was supposed to be doing. Never you mind that I was already physically capable of all the physical training requirements, and nevermind that I’d aced all their tests. I was mad because I wasn’t ever going to get to serve in the manner I thought I was supposed to.

…and it’s always been something I felt everyone should do, myself included.

Being the all or nothing sort of guy I am…I wouldn’t even speak to my recruiter again. He fought and fought hard for me, apparently he went pretty for up to get the ruling changed…so much that it actually took him six months to get my status changed contingent on my willingness to re-enlist, but by then I’d already slipped down into the craziness that was my senior year and was bent on getting a full ride to some obscure college as far from everything local as possible.

It was when I found that my aptitude for learning saved me, and I learned that I could enjoy life without it needing to be rigid.

Eventually, I learned that it was their loss, not mine.

Anyhow…thus ends the day’s journal. 😉

-T




Inspiration…

I’ve come to expect the curve balls life threw at me. Life is a challenge. Sometime the challenges are barely worth the fight, and sometimes they mean everything to you.

Faith has always been the big one for me. I put everyone on a pedestal. People are amazing and the more you show this to them sooner or later, they begin to shine. Inspiration is a big thing for everyone. We all want and need to be inspired. I think thats a big piece of faith in itself. Inspiration. Inspiration allows us to transcend, to believe, to act, and with a little foresight allows us to be better.

Sounds hokey I know. But it’s always what I look for in people. Friends & loved ones…even the people I see in a mall. When someone does good, we shouldn’t just count ourselves lucky…we should be stocking up on karma like it was a rare metal. Some people think it is that rare, but it isn’t. I think it’s all about the people we want to be and the people we look for in friends.

That same inspiration, that faith…it makes it all worth it. If you see something that needs to be done. If you see someone that needs help. Do it. Help them. Along the way that same act will be contagious, and all of a sudden it’s not one crazy blogger writing a little post…it’s a few people that go out of their way to help others in need.

As a practice THIS is how we become a better society, a better people. I’m not talking about starting a government program to help the poor. I’m talking about helping the poor, and underprivileged…hell…I am talking about helping an old lady cross the street. Do it! It’s these same acts that serve as an example to others. It’s these same acts that should permeate our society rather than the indifference and social narcissism we’re beating into our kids. We raise the bar as individuals and society will fall in step. That increased level of inspiration could revitalize our faith in each other ten times better than the occasional tear-jerker article I see on the net.

May I am just ranting here but it’s a goal right? When I started my own consulting firm I promised myself it would NOT be one of those ventures that was just there to make as much money as possible and not give something back. I made the decision that my firm would donate every bit of money it could, and in some cases I’ll be donating resources…to the maximum amount I can without jeopardizing my future. I’m hardly giving up my ambitions, I’m just saying that my company will be a part of the solution, and not part of the many many problems we see in big business today. If you shape your business model to include giving back to the community, you will figure out a way to do just that. Instead of just one person going that extra mile…it’s an entire business. I think that if everyone in the city donated 4-6 hours of their week this would truly be a society worth being a part of. There are sooo many things that donated time and resources could resolve without spending any of our precious dollars that I think we’d find ourselves living far far easier.

And it comes back to that inspiration, that faith. We all want it, it’s just insane that we all don’t simple stand up and make it a reality. It’s pretty obvious this more a journal entry than some other edgy rant, but I still have to get these out there too. I rely on inspiration. When I read or meet new people, you can bet i am wearing some seriously rose-tinted glasses, because I want them all to inspire me, even if it’s only to teach me how to clean dishes with a big fat grin on my face…I still want it.

You might have thought I was going to lean on the more spiritual end for this entry, but the truth is I’ve been having a harder and harder time with talking about it lately. I feel like differences in opinion, and the psychological blowback from some really hard experiences from way back are finally coming to roost. I haven’t set foot in a church in over a decade, and I can count the number of times in the last twenty years on one hand. The difference is I grew up knowing, but slowly learned to question those beliefs. Before I was twenty I’d learned from the worst of people and many very hard and bitter experiences lessons that changed my perspective on what the difference was between learning how to be a better person and learning how to be what society implicates we should be doing. Fare more often than not I found myself having to take a moral high ground that made me feel more and more ostracized from both friends and family alike. I’ve since learned a happy medium with friends and family…but not so much where religion is concerned. That difference between knowing and believing, that gap between inspiration and faith, it’s still kindof a mess for me.

Okay enough with the rant…ending this sappy journal entry 😉

Gnight!

-T




Indifference kills…

A day or two ago, I started seeing links to a very provocative video that was released detailing a situation whereby a child was not only hit twice by traffic, but that for some time a large number of people ignored the poor child that was struck and moved on about their day. I have two links for this on CBS News and The Sydney Morning Herald (there are more but these two paint a good enough picture). I haven’t been so outraged in a long time. And hopefully this will shed some light for all those friends of mine on why they couldn’t understand why I have to help…

indifference hit and runYears ago, when I was 19, we were leaving Ellum going northbound on 75 and were exiting to hit Cafe Brazil I think…our exit was slowed to a stop, but the highway was full speed.

I was looking out at the cars passing by so fast. Then it happened…I watched a biker get rear-ended and hit again twice by cars that did not stop afterwards, the bike with no driver spun into the middle of the highway, further causing another biker and a couple other cars to crash.

My friends in the car were jamming out pretty loud so when they heard me scream “NO!” they didn’t realize what it was I had seen right away. It wasn’t just that all those people were in trouble. I wasn’t just fear that gripped me. I was soooo angry. Because even after all that…the cars weren’t stopping.

I couldn’t stand it, and jumped out of the car I was in and ran onto the highway to get people…anyone to stop and help. The people in the cars that had crashed were fine, and even their cars were relatively okay…but the bikers, no one would come near them.

The second biker was closest and was in full riding gear, he was able to tell me his name, where he was and which day it was. A doctor stopped his car to block the lane properly and help with him as I then ran to the second biker.

The second biker was barely breathing and he couldn’t talk. His eyes were alert and frantically trying to communicate…it was pure fear…and though and I could tell he was trying to move – he didn’t have the strength to even move a finger. I was afraid to even hold his hand his body was in such bad shape and…slightly twisted.

It took the police 5 minutes to get there because of the traffic jam, and it took the ambulances almost 10. It was Friday night around 12am on northbound 75. I don’t remember much after that, I was horrified. At some point I guess I’d given my contact information to the police and that doctor that helped out there, because the next day he called me and thanked me for the effort. Unfortunately, he also informed me that one of the motorcyclists had passed away at the site of the accident, and the other had passed away overnight in the hospital.

That wasn’t my first tangle with Death. But that was when it became clear to me that I’ll never be able to even feign indifference in these situations. I would never be that guy that just kept driving on.

A year or two later on vacation in New Mexico, while I was blissfully asleep in the passenger seat. The driver of the car I was in fell asleep from exhaustion and drove us off the side of a mountain at 60mph. Your best imagination could not describe what happened to us in that fall. The only thing that didn’t happen was the car didn’t explode…

…It took the busload of people behind us over 30 minutes to get to us from the road. It took over an hour for an ambulance to get there, and almost two hours to get us back to the hospital. The truck had bounced and rolled over 100 yards down. Days later, we were shown pictures of what had happened and what happened to the truck, and pictures of where it had happened. If that bus hadn’t stopped and those people on it not come, the sun and environment would have finished the job for both of us.

It wasn’t just seeing a wreck now that influenced me. As far as I was concerned, I felt, and still feel to this day, that I have a moral obligation to help in any way I can. I don’t expect the same from everyone, but from experience, I sure as hell hope that when something like that happens to me, someone will be around that feels the same way I do.

And for anyone that feels they can’t be bothered to stop and help, I hope there was a lesson in this somewhere.

My .02 for the evening. Hope everyone has a great night.

-Tony