Tag: karma

Inspiration…

I’ve come to expect the curve balls life threw at me. Life is a challenge. Sometime the challenges are barely worth the fight, and sometimes they mean everything to you.

Faith has always been the big one for me. I put everyone on a pedestal. People are amazing and the more you show this to them sooner or later, they begin to shine. Inspiration is a big thing for everyone. We all want and need to be inspired. I think thats a big piece of faith in itself. Inspiration. Inspiration allows us to transcend, to believe, to act, and with a little foresight allows us to be better.

Sounds hokey I know. But it’s always what I look for in people. Friends & loved ones…even the people I see in a mall. When someone does good, we shouldn’t just count ourselves lucky…we should be stocking up on karma like it was a rare metal. Some people think it is that rare, but it isn’t. I think it’s all about the people we want to be and the people we look for in friends.

That same inspiration, that faith…it makes it all worth it. If you see something that needs to be done. If you see someone that needs help. Do it. Help them. Along the way that same act will be contagious, and all of a sudden it’s not one crazy blogger writing a little post…it’s a few people that go out of their way to help others in need.

As a practice THIS is how we become a better society, a better people. I’m not talking about starting a government program to help the poor. I’m talking about helping the poor, and underprivileged…hell…I am talking about helping an old lady cross the street. Do it! It’s these same acts that serve as an example to others. It’s these same acts that should permeate our society rather than the indifference and social narcissism we’re beating into our kids. We raise the bar as individuals and society will fall in step. That increased level of inspiration could revitalize our faith in each other ten times better than the occasional tear-jerker article I see on the net.

May I am just ranting here but it’s a goal right? When I started my own consulting firm I promised myself it would NOT be one of those ventures that was just there to make as much money as possible and not give something back. I made the decision that my firm would donate every bit of money it could, and in some cases I’ll be donating resources…to the maximum amount I can without jeopardizing my future. I’m hardly giving up my ambitions, I’m just saying that my company will be a part of the solution, and not part of the many many problems we see in big business today. If you shape your business model to include giving back to the community, you will figure out a way to do just that. Instead of just one person going that extra mile…it’s an entire business. I think that if everyone in the city donated 4-6 hours of their week this would truly be a society worth being a part of. There are sooo many things that donated time and resources could resolve without spending any of our precious dollars that I think we’d find ourselves living far far easier.

And it comes back to that inspiration, that faith. We all want it, it’s just insane that we all don’t simple stand up and make it a reality. It’s pretty obvious this more a journal entry than some other edgy rant, but I still have to get these out there too. I rely on inspiration. When I read or meet new people, you can bet i am wearing some seriously rose-tinted glasses, because I want them all to inspire me, even if it’s only to teach me how to clean dishes with a big fat grin on my face…I still want it.

You might have thought I was going to lean on the more spiritual end for this entry, but the truth is I’ve been having a harder and harder time with talking about it lately. I feel like differences in opinion, and the psychological blowback from some really hard experiences from way back are finally coming to roost. I haven’t set foot in a church in over a decade, and I can count the number of times in the last twenty years on one hand. The difference is I grew up knowing, but slowly learned to question those beliefs. Before I was twenty I’d learned from the worst of people and many very hard and bitter experiences lessons that changed my perspective on what the difference was between learning how to be a better person and learning how to be what society implicates we should be doing. Fare more often than not I found myself having to take a moral high ground that made me feel more and more ostracized from both friends and family alike. I’ve since learned a happy medium with friends and family…but not so much where religion is concerned. That difference between knowing and believing, that gap between inspiration and faith, it’s still kindof a mess for me.

Okay enough with the rant…ending this sappy journal entry πŸ˜‰

Gnight!

-T




The first step…

A long time ago, I taught myself that the hardest step was the last.

As it happens, that so not true.

The hardest step is the first. We should all want to be better, and I think that that specific decision…THATS the hard one.

The decision that says, “Okay, I might not want to rule the world…but I want to make my part of it a better place to live in.”

Or maybe like whatever happens, you get it in your head that before you move on to greener pastures, you have to be someone’s hero, or be a hero to the world or mother nature, or your kids or your parents…whatever. The need to stop living status quo and move forward, and live by example, or at least live in a manner that isn’t centered on self gratuity that will let me, when than time comes (hopefully a very very long time from now) I will lay my head down with such an amazingly clear conscience that the the universe’ only option will be to sweep me up and show me what I missed.

I’m not sure if that’s some sort of karma, or maybe some afterlife of kundalini. But what I am sure is that I am pretty sure I know what it’s like to be at peace, and while I am not always in that happy place, I know how to get there. The joy in a child’s smile, the love in a girlfriends embrace. They might just be examples but they are definitely good ones. I’ve been such a die-hard loner for so long I think I actually forgot how to be someone’s better half, or even to recognize it when they might be mine.

It’s actually kind of freaking me out. No I am so not having any midlife crisis. I’m pretty sure everyone realizes that a guy with the mental development of a twelve year old doesn’t actually get a mid-life crisis. Perks of being twelve on the inside I guess, I get to make fun of guys driving corvettes my entire life, rather than just the first half πŸ˜‰

Anyhow, back on point. So it’s time. I’ve cleaned up, the only issue I have left to obliterate from my life is my health. I barely drink, I haven’t had a smoke in over a year and know for sure I’ll never need one again. The rest is just painful memories of a different guy that hadn’t figured out some important lessons yet. I can live with that, and those few friends that have learned to forgive and/or love me for the change are still around and I am far far stronger for it.

All that’s left is the physical remnants of depression and overwhelming and repeated loss. Lets see what you’re like after 5 good friends kill themselves in under 2 years…its actually more than that, 2 other people I knew as well…couple that with a couple crazy as hell ex’s and I am completely surprised I’m not in an institution. But…I digress.

This is about the first step. The one where I stop being overly concerned with all of my many many bad decisions and start living with my good decisions. I am working out, paying off the last round of credit, and finally starting to make plans on a house. I am hardly planning for the white picket fence, I don’t know that I’m even a good candidate for it. But I know I am happy when I am helping people, so that the direction this goes. Making myself happy, and in the process hopefully sharing a little of that happy with my loved ones πŸ˜‰

It’s not really a bad first step is it?

-T




What is a fekton?

Fekton is Shocking - Tonytown.comI have this infrequent habit of creating a word specifically in order to shrug of the negative karma the internet bestows upon me when I inadvertently use a fekton of language that would otherwise be considered profane, offensive, or ill-considered.

In this case, the word fekton specifically refers to an unimaginable amount of something, that is – so much of an object, item, or substance that it is immeasurable. Strangely enough this word rhymes very closely with a two word phrase that also describes an unimaginable amount of something.

fekton (fuhk tuhn)
(fuk’ tun)
1) An unimaginable amount of something; so much of an object, item, or substance that it is immeasurable.
2) A lot more than an ‘A$$ Load’ or ‘$h1t Ton’

Thats pretty much it. I have been taking a break from posting a regularly because, well…sometimes I need a break, and I’d prefer not to encumber my blog with a fekton of fluff πŸ˜‰

That said..yes, I am in fact a big dork that really does do this πŸ˜‰