Tag: Aly

Tony answers a bunch of cheesy MySpace Questions

Ten years ago to the day…

Tony Answers A Bunch of Questions – June Blog pt1
Name: Tony Hunt
Birthday: Friday the 13th
Birthplace: Buffalo, NY
Current Location: Fort Worth, TX
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 5’7″
Right Handed or Left Handed: Lefty
Your Heritage: Italian/French
The Shoes You Wore Today: Sketchers
Your Weakness: people thinking of me without my prompting -  nice eyes …
Your Fears: Being Alone & Not living up to my dreams
Your Perfect Pizza: no anchovies and I am fine
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Hmmm..think about it.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: “kk”
Thoughts First Waking Up: “Where is…oh…damn I am awake :(“
Your Best Physical Feature: I dont have a best physical feature to my knowledge, and if I do I dont want to hear about it.
Your Bedtime: When exhaustion takes me.
Your Most Missed Memory: Eww. Too mushy for myspace.
Pepsi or Coke: neither..I dont do sodas.
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK
Single or Group Dates: Is there a third option where you dont have to call it a date? I prefer to know someone pretty well before pursueing any sort of  romantic ambitions.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: if it isnt hot, it doesnt matter.
Chocolate or Vanilla: VANILLA  YUMYUM
Cappuccino or Coffee: only if necessary
Do you Smoke: Not for months (go me!)
Do you Swear: unfortunately…yes
Do you Sing: I could sing really well when I was a kid (lots of voice training) lost it all when my voice changed.
Do you Shower Daily: at least once per day if at all possible
Have you Been in Love: yeah..hurts alot.
Do you want to go to College: I actually want to go back for grad school yeah.
Do you want to get Married: not particularly, I love relationships, but  marriage just doesnt mean what it used to.
Do you beleive in yourself: everyone believes, everyone doubts.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only if there isnt fresh air.
Do you think you are Attractive: One can only hope.
Are you a Health Freak: Heh, i should be, I know what I am doing to myself 🙂
Do you get along with your Parents: when necessary yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: The most awesome natural occurence ever!
HELL YES!

Do you play an Instrument: Jazz percussion ~10 years
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yep
In the past month have you Smoked: nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: yes
Ever Shoplifted: nope
How do you want to Die: with satisfaction
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: lets wait til I grow up and then see what I will be.
What country would you most like to Visit: italy
In a Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: doesn’t matter
Favourite Hair Color: doesn’t matter
Short or Long Hair: doesn’t matter
Height: doesn’t matter
Weight: depends, i want to be attracted to the person
Best Clothing Style: Doesn’t matter
Number of Drugs I have taken: too many to count
Number of CDs I own: used to be alot, archived them and now very few
Number of Piercings: a couple…
Number of Tattoos: 🙂 no ink
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Countless. Life without regret is an idea, not a realistic state.




It was just an email…

So a couple nights ago I got this email telling me I should invite another friend into their little commercial community.

We all get these, it’s how online businesses make their money, draw in more people.

The problem is the person they were telling me to invite was that of an incredibly dear girlfriend who past away a couple years back. Without going into a lot of detail, I simply wasn’t emotionally prepared for her death, it left a ton of unresolved things lurking around in my head. So yeah…just an email, right?

It was just a damn email…but it was also a tiny spark that fired me up.

She and I had been at odds for some time, no specifics, suffice to say that the last time we talked, it wasn’t friendly or anything remotely like what our friends would have expected. We were arguing and worse, I was the one that brought it all on. There were a lot of reasons we had to start building a life together as a couple, but I am notorious for finding dealbreakers when I should know better and work though it. This time I held true to my habits and had made it clear we were never going down that road. The result was nothing short of multiple situations where we’d both intended to totally make amends but instead resulted in some colossal arguments.

The last argument was the worst of them all. She was really harsh, and understandably so, she was hurt and she was convinced I was being a complete idiot. Not that I wasn’t but I am stupid and stubborn once I’ve made my decision to stand my ground. So I took it. I let the barrage happen and let things get so escalated that we’d hang up. All this with the expectations that after we cooled off for a while we’d both be drawn to mending it up and making amends.

So we stopped speaking for some months…and then it happened. I was looking around for her and couldn’t find her. Of course I just assumed she was still POed at me so I let things go a little more. Two months after it had actually happened, I found out she’d taken her own life.

So yeah…that stupid little damn email brought all that angst & despair right back up for me to figure out how to deal with again. The difference is that now I have got to deal with this and put it behind me. I stowed away a lot of this because I was in no shape to deal with it back then, now, I have a life to live and this will not turn me into a wreck again.

I wrote this blog post not for the readers, but for myself this time. It’s been a while since I put a little of my heart on my sleeve in my writing and now’s a good time to get back into that habit. Aly, you were my most trusted companion in so many ideas and beliefs for what seems like a gazillion years. You helped me pull out of no few relationships without losing it. And that one rare time you wanted more from me, I was a dumbass, and thats on me. You own a piece of me, and I know you’re in a much much better place.

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PS – I really need to thank Andie for listening to me vent about this when it happened. You have no idea how appreciative I am on this. Thanks love!




All These Years

By Adema

” ‘One foot in front of the other.’ That’s what they tell you. You’d seriously think someone with a little ‘experience’ in loss would have something better to give in the way of coping. This just makes it seem like there is no end in sight. Suicide Friends…year four. It’s not like I’m down about it all the time…it creeps up and owns me for a few hours every once in blue moon. You mourn in your way…I’ll mourn in mine. PS – Your advice sucks.”
-Sometimes people drop the ball with the absolute best of intentions. Remember that next time someone tries to help.

One got addicted
and the other ran away
Some settled down a familiar place
One lets go of the wheel
While the other one steers
One got the money that the other put away
Some hung around when the others couldn’t stay
A few just followed their dreams while the others stood clear

After all these years
After all these years

One found religion and the other lost faith
One sold something that he never could replace
Both looked back to see if the coast was clear
One hits the bottle ’till his problems go away
The other never made it home from school that day
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear

After all these years
After all these years

It feels like some days that the sun never shines
I can’t decipher all these little thin rhymes
They’re going down in flames
They’re burning alive
I just can’t take this anymore
One look back at the past and I’m finally here
After all these years

One got addicted
And the other ran away
Some hung around when the others couldn’t stay
One let’s go of the wheel
While the other one steers
After all these years
One found religion and the other lost faith
One sold something that he never could replace
Both looked back to see if the coast was clear