The best damn server in the world.

No…not a computer you gits. A server…a waitress…the method by which we communicate our wonts to a kitchen full of chefs, by which we expect oft poor or demure attitudes, not what we ordered, and even the occasional sneezer.

I will not give any information on where the restaurant is, only that I was there today, with many friends. These same friends earlier in the day let me know they finally found a server that can keep up and doesnt take an crap from Brenden, our token social miscarriage of wit with a huge fetish for the game “escalation.” Let me say first that this group is a very hard sale. We tip quite well (30%-60% depending on how much the server measures up), however we are one hell of a high maintenance table, and most of us come off with a not-so-congenial first impression. The whole group has a knack for very abrasive humor, and some even still find it fun to peg each other in the head with whatever throwing weapons are available (SweetnLow, straw wrappers, even butter scoops when we are REALLY being stupid.) Individually, we would never behave like that in public (well most of us), however as a group, we are a nightmare in a restaurant. Separate checks, people are finicky about lemon being in the water before served, some of the guys even try to run the server around in the first moments of greeting the table just to see if he or she will drop the ball on us for the rest of the evening.

Like I said…a nightmare “big-top” (restaurant slang for large party).

As stated previously, the friends in question really talked up this new server they had wait on them last week and apparently, the server was an all out hit with the group (I wasn’t there for the after-fighting dinner gathering). And apparently, they were under the impression they were getting hooked up if they go in there again so thats where we were going this weekend as well. I was dubious, honestly! I spent years training service personnel, and honestly those prize servers/wait staff that really pull in customers repeatedly are very rare. Most talk the talk and walk the walk, but few are genuinely entertaining and make a living from a static clientèle. Boy, I was in for a big surprise!

Not only did she get all the food right., she showed unfeigned concern that the other staff members were going to screw it up for her and she was all over them (watching) when they approached our table without her. All the drinks were correct, and refilled in very short order when drained. Appetizers were out first, along with a very hefty portion of bread (we like their bread…a lot). This isn’t what I would put the server on a pedestal for. I am a phenomenal tipper even with shitty service…too many years in the industry, but when someone is so good that you literally applaud them? That just doesn’t happen…not in TonyTown…well…not until today 😉

Not only did she tolerate a few of the guys ending all their requests in “or else” for twenty minutes. Not only did she tolerate B unceasingly playing a game of escalation with her to see where she would lose her composure, she put up with separate checks requested at the last minute, she put with half the guys at the table trying to talk her into dating Rob, shrugged off the everyone grinning at her waiting to see when she would screw up…all of it. The session of grueling service lasted over an hour…and she made it through with nigh a scratch, and more importantly, she earned the respect of the entire crew, as she conveniently spilled water all over B, who totally had it coming after an hour of non-stop baiting and witty yet edgy comments to the waitress…she didn’t snap…she got him to stop for a little while so she could have a break.

The bottom line, said waitress kicked some serious ass with us and we’re going to visit her weekly until she gets tired of getting 60% tips from us 😉