Tag: Randomosity…

Electric Fence Syndrome…

As you may have guessed by the name, it’s shocking how many people exhibit signs of this dangerous yet disturbingly amusing illness.

Electric Fence Syndrome is a mental deficiency (I personally think it’s genetic, but this unproven by scientific standards) in which a person will deliberately expose themselves to dangerous or horribly undesirable effects for no other reason than to verify what their own senses, family members, and friends have likely already explained and warned them of.

I first encountered this disease when I was about 7 years old. I was with a couple of my cousins in a horse pasture. One of my cousins bet the other that he could climb and ride the stud without a saddle with no problem whatsoever. Before he left to try, I pointed out that we knew already that that particular horse hated people riding him bareback and would usually throw you upon trying to sit without a saddle. In addition, the other cousin that was in on the bet also told the victim that he’d tried three times already and couldn’t pull it off. Need less to say, it was an enormous amount of fun seeing sensible family members (that totally knew better) climb an irritated horse solely to prove they would be tossed promptly.

Another encounter…well…legitimized this illness when I watched a man holding a rifle wrong (the scope was too close to his eye), and after being warned about the potential ramifications, ignore said warning and promptly cut his eye ridge and nose when firing the rifle.

Further bolstered by not one, but FOUR instances of warning people about various fences possessing a significant electric current, with little success of deterrence, I found an apt name for this horrible affliction that lays waste to those with even the most reputable common sense.

You can often see signs that the illness will manifest itself when hearing phrases such as the following:

“You shouldn’t be dating each other.”
“Heh, watch THIS!”
“We’re getting married!”
“He bites.”
“Do not feed the animals.”

It’s been noted that I missed a very important phrase to be wary of by my friend Lodi:

“Hold my beer.”

And another awesome one has been submitted by Kirsten (of Results Not Typical Girl):

“Will you marry me?”

…the list of scenarios goes on and on. I have found one very clear method of avoiding this disease. It seems that it is distracting and entertaining enough to yield non-dangerous results merely by warning people of potential dangers and harmful situations. I highly suggest this as a deterrent.

In the meantime, I would very much like to hear of your own experiences with this affliction. Or even if you know more phrases to be watchful for.
Please feel free to send these experiences to electricfence@tonytown.com.




Just remembering…

I saw little blurb that’s been tweeted and reposted all over the place….Facebook…Email…etc.

Lindsay Lohan, 24, is all over the news because she’s a celebrity drug addict. While Justin Allen 23, Brett Linley 29, Matthew Weikert 29, Justus Bartett 27, Dave Santos 21, Chase Stanley 21, Jesse Reed 26, Matthew Johnson 21, Zachary Fisher 24, Brandon King 23, Christopher Goeke 23, …and Sheldon Tate 27 are all Marines that gave their lives this week with NO MEDIA MENTION. Honor THEM by reposting!

It reminded me of something…a couple years ago, I had this amazing discussion with a surprisingly insightful woman. The discussion wasn’t all that long…but it was…well heartfelt.

I was coming over to one of my favorite spots at a local park, and there was someone else already kicking back on my favorite bench – luckily there was lots of room on the bench. I asked if it was okay if I snag the other spot on the bench completely oblivious of who it was, but hell I was there to relax at the park. However, after like five minutes I realized who she was and had to say hello. Don’t get me wrong…I introduced myself mainly because this kind of opportunity doesn’t happen often. I immediately apologized for interrupting her but I was totally curious about her. Surprisingly again, she was talkative and amicable.

…so we knocked out the weather and our days experiences in under two minutes’ discussion. At that point however, I couldn’t help myself.

“Dude, I have to ask. If it were me, I’d probably have kicked the media’s ass or something. How do you handle the media?”

“You learn to ignore them, hardly the smartest thing the do if you’re trying to keep some sort of image, and then you stop caring too. But I still get furious when they start digging into family.”

I asked what it was like having zero privacy and the word “Hell” was all the explanation I needed. I asked how often she lost her cool with the media.

“Way too much. But live and learn.”

I even asked how she was coping with how they sensationalized every wrong step she ever took.

“…They don’t care. It’s like they are only looking for those tastiest morsels that will distract them from the real problems in the world.”

…before I got to my next question…

“You know it really sucks. The entertainment industry is like a coping mechanism for people that can’t come to grips with what the world is really like. The media is geared to draw you. They aren’t concerned for what is right…only for what will get them a broader audience. Whatever they can get away with without breaking the law..they’re all over it. Accuracy doesn’t matter, only the draw.

People, great people, awesome people…are dying to save each other every day…I bet they give me more coverage at a court date than they do for all the guys dying in Iraq. It’s not that the media does this habitually, I hate it more when it’s me they’re dumping all the attention on. It’s like come on people, you must have better things to do.”

At this point I totally apologized, as I was obviously interrupting what was rare peace for her. But then I opened my trap and said it.

“Ya know, I have to admit I was a slave to the media impression before today. I feel like an ass now. You’re ten times more interesting to talk to about the media than it is to listen to the media about you.”

*yes, I was grinning*

She smirked and said, “It’s the one thing the media doesn’t care about, but thanks.”

Things stayed quiet after that. The day was just too beautiful to sully with any more dialogue. For another 10 minutes we just sat on the bench enjoying the peace, half-grins on both our faces.

By the way. Now that you’re through reading this.
Who she was doesn’t matter.

Here’s the latest list of from iCasualities.com
..and here’s a list of who gave their lives in the last week in Afghanistan.
Matthew Thomas, Donald Scott Morrison, Mark A. Simpson, Clinton E. Springer II, William Brandon Dawson, Jaysine P. S. Petree, Anthony J. Rosa, Michael J. Buras, Jonah D. McClellan, Robert F. Baldwin, Marvin R. Calhoun Jr., Joshua D. Powell, Matthew G. Wagstaff, Denis C. Miranda, Adam O. Smith, David B. McLendon, Brendan J. Looney.




Denny Crane.

Denny Crane is waving pistol.

Your argument is invalid.