Another recap…
HUG
I have NO interest in a debate thread…..and to be honest I was/am getting tired of some people posting things just for the sake of arguing….so I decided to see if this was something that people were interested in…as I certainly wasnt. I couldn’t post my feelings because I didn’t want to sway the vote Wink
HUG HUG HUG
stay in touch tony! You will be in my thoughts and prayers[/quote]
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The worst is over.
I have seen my share of the dead, but man…this time I lost it. Staring a dead baby in the eye for a few hours…pardon my french…but it fucking shook me up pretty bad, and I had to take some time to myself. When I got to the hospital…everyone was straight-up tip-toeing around me as they led me to the room. There were five family members outside the room. A friend of mine worked in a different part of the hospital and I asked someone to see if he was in…and then i entered the room. The door opened and the world seemed to stop. Kelly (the Mom), her mother, her Pastor and two relatives sat huddled and praying around a bundled baby.
At first, I was about to give everyone a huge earful…as the baby was still wired up and a respirator tube was still attached…I thought they had all played one shitty joke. And then I froze. You see, I’ve seen the dead before…plenty of times actually. What I am not used to is their eyes being open. In the center of the room a bundled baby lay…staring right back at me. I glanced around quickly to see if anyone else saw what I was seeing, and no one seemed to notice….and so I sat, and hugged Kelly, hugged everybody…and tried to make sense of what happened. The circumstances were so far-fetched that both mother and grandmother were far from paying prayers, and albeit cursing the powers above for taking Michael so early. The Pastor had no words to offer at first, but slowly rose to the challenge and offered up enough soothing words to allow the anger to abate. But it still wasn’t enough for me…I was locked in a staring contest with the baby. I wasn’t kidding when i said that freaked me out. I was there for Kelly & Michael mostly, I didn’t know the rest very well to tell the truth, but they were all good people. Kelly and her mother didn’t let go of the baby until rigor mortis had set in. By the time I had left I was speechless. I drove home in a daze. Wandered around on the net most of the night, and made a parody of working from home the next day.
The bad side…despite being damn near fearless…the staring contest shook me up too much. I daresay it changed me. On the positive side, I have enough material for my writing for the next decade, and will probably put it to good use.
Anyhow…I will stop here..lol…you’re not my shrink Wink
…and I have to pass out, take care hun.
-Tony
