Crossing the line, blogs, journals, and our private lives.

That thin line…

We see it ALL the time. The bottom feeders of the media industry that profit from the blatant invasion of privacy that seems to come hand-in-hands with making a name for yourself in the entertainment industry. Why do they profit? Because the laws that allow us our freedoms allow others to push the envelope on our rights to privacy. Here in Tonytown, there are a number of people that take great pains to avoid unnecessary online presences. It’s not paranoia…it’s plain common sense when careers and family relationships are more susceptible to influence by online news, rumors, conjecture, and sometimes straight falsehoods. These situations dictate people trust their friends and loved ones to stay responsible, keep a level head, and most importantly respect each others lives and lifestyles by keeping it out of the public arena.

So now we’re all wondering “Where the hell is Tony headed?!” Don’t worry…I am getting there…so…I have a pretty large amount of friends. Bragging?..not at all, I simply don’t make a habit of stressing situations where my friendships would be jeopardized. Ever hear the phrase: “Don’t crap where you eat?” Well it’s very sound advice. So when expressing myself, I do it in a manner that leaves my friends and loved ones outside the public scope…I get it that people actually make money from this smut, I am also very confident that karma is going to kick in somewhere, hopefully in the groin of the people generating said smut. In the current scenario I am actually referring to, a blog intending to…well…I am not sure…but our capacity to make mistakes is tempered only by our willingness to make amends for them.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch of a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I in no way share or form consider posting details of friends lives a success…or even its modus operandi. In all my writing…I carry – or at least demonstrate proclivities toward – a harsh and often horribly aggressive tone…it’s almost always a no-quarter environment with me. I go in, find details about something that tweaks my brain, and figure out whether or not it’s worthy of spending time writing about. Epictetus said “First learn the meaning of what you say, then say it.” Recently, a couple people in Tonytown have been albeit victimized by individuals and/or organizations that are protected from legal repercussions only by waving the definition of slander and libel as a sword, at the same time holding fast a shield under the guise of the term “Newsworthy”. If I don’t like you, it doesn’t mean I am going to smear you all over the net. To convolute matters by trying to justify the online sucker-punch I just saw…is only to inflame the situation. This time I didn’t have to research. The long-voiced and often irritating angst of one friend towards another has yet again planted it’s proverbial arse online, in some distorted effort to vent frustration. Dirty laundry needs to get cleaned, not strung up on a stage for the world to see.

Maybe now we see a direction in my rant eh?

When a statement is made, the meaning and measure of that statement is remembered in the response and reaction it provokes. So when a person spills their guts online, and airs out what would be considered quite a bit of dirty laundry, I must in fact wonder at the intended response versus what’s happened over the last few days. In this case, said friend is ranting…just like I do. But fingers are more than pointed, they are pointing in a direction that draws in not just friends, but our families. Answers to questions that weren’t expected to be voiced are emblazoned in a rant, forcing an already stressed friend further into a downward spiral….forcing another friend to wonder how many other people had seen the rant…wondering what the impact could be on careers, familial relationships…making us all wonder…and worry.

I would ask not that someone burn their journal, only not use it in the same manner as those bottom-feeders mentioned at the beginning of this rant. Not as a weapon of negativity, causing only strife and stress. What you consider newsworthy is not in fact, needed in the public forum. What you feel the need to write, should be written…but not necessarily read aloud to a crowd of critics. Because in doing so, you’ve only found more critics…and as such supports the practice of pondering the meaning of a statement before rendering it to those that have something to lose in hearing it.

-Tony

I find it amazing that people so gifted can lose their way so decisively.