Category: Randomosity…

During normal lapses of insanity…


Crossing the line, blogs, journals, and our private lives.

That thin line…

We see it ALL the time. The bottom feeders of the media industry that profit from the blatant invasion of privacy that seems to come hand-in-hands with making a name for yourself in the entertainment industry. Why do they profit? Because the laws that allow us our freedoms allow others to push the envelope on our rights to privacy. Here in Tonytown, there are a number of people that take great pains to avoid unnecessary online presences. It’s not paranoia…it’s plain common sense when careers and family relationships are more susceptible to influence by online news, rumors, conjecture, and sometimes straight falsehoods. These situations dictate people trust their friends and loved ones to stay responsible, keep a level head, and most importantly respect each others lives and lifestyles by keeping it out of the public arena.

So now we’re all wondering “Where the hell is Tony headed?!” Don’t worry…I am getting there…so…I have a pretty large amount of friends. Bragging?..not at all, I simply don’t make a habit of stressing situations where my friendships would be jeopardized. Ever hear the phrase: “Don’t crap where you eat?” Well it’s very sound advice. So when expressing myself, I do it in a manner that leaves my friends and loved ones outside the public scope…I get it that people actually make money from this smut, I am also very confident that karma is going to kick in somewhere, hopefully in the groin of the people generating said smut. In the current scenario I am actually referring to, a blog intending to…well…I am not sure…but our capacity to make mistakes is tempered only by our willingness to make amends for them.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch of a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I in no way share or form consider posting details of friends lives a success…or even its modus operandi. In all my writing…I carry – or at least demonstrate proclivities toward – a harsh and often horribly aggressive tone…it’s almost always a no-quarter environment with me. I go in, find details about something that tweaks my brain, and figure out whether or not it’s worthy of spending time writing about. Epictetus said “First learn the meaning of what you say, then say it.” Recently, a couple people in Tonytown have been albeit victimized by individuals and/or organizations that are protected from legal repercussions only by waving the definition of slander and libel as a sword, at the same time holding fast a shield under the guise of the term “Newsworthy”. If I don’t like you, it doesn’t mean I am going to smear you all over the net. To convolute matters by trying to justify the online sucker-punch I just saw…is only to inflame the situation. This time I didn’t have to research. The long-voiced and often irritating angst of one friend towards another has yet again planted it’s proverbial arse online, in some distorted effort to vent frustration. Dirty laundry needs to get cleaned, not strung up on a stage for the world to see.

Maybe now we see a direction in my rant eh?

When a statement is made, the meaning and measure of that statement is remembered in the response and reaction it provokes. So when a person spills their guts online, and airs out what would be considered quite a bit of dirty laundry, I must in fact wonder at the intended response versus what’s happened over the last few days. In this case, said friend is ranting…just like I do. But fingers are more than pointed, they are pointing in a direction that draws in not just friends, but our families. Answers to questions that weren’t expected to be voiced are emblazoned in a rant, forcing an already stressed friend further into a downward spiral….forcing another friend to wonder how many other people had seen the rant…wondering what the impact could be on careers, familial relationships…making us all wonder…and worry.

I would ask not that someone burn their journal, only not use it in the same manner as those bottom-feeders mentioned at the beginning of this rant. Not as a weapon of negativity, causing only strife and stress. What you consider newsworthy is not in fact, needed in the public forum. What you feel the need to write, should be written…but not necessarily read aloud to a crowd of critics. Because in doing so, you’ve only found more critics…and as such supports the practice of pondering the meaning of a statement before rendering it to those that have something to lose in hearing it.

-Tony

I find it amazing that people so gifted can lose their way so decisively.




Modus Oris.

Some-times…it comes upon us all…a desire for an extreme…a mind’s ambition to express overwhelms us…
We find a need…a need for speed…greed..to bleed and most of all …to scream.

Playing an old song rings wrong and the new stuff never sits well for long.
Stand up and wrench yourself free, find that place to makes to cry, laugh, smile and wretch.
Expression comes and finds us we seem to look around while an unseen ghost on your shoulder grinds your scheme
..but they alway leave to let you find some dream…

Wrecked and wretched, elevated and elated we all must strive to find that method of expression…
..our pedestal…our soapbox…our way through the jungle of mixed up thoughts and unrealized dreams.
I think I’ve found today a way to move aside the dismay and angst to whisper to myself and say “Never Be Denied!”
I spend a little time this night looking to light the fires and find the might to regain some insight.

Not to be profound but this voice it’s mean, it’ll seem to be fast and less of a peaceful mind
So what I say, dont beat around and procrastinate at last…express thine self and make it a blast.
Sing, scream, argue, question, preach, hum a tune
and find your way
Chant, shriek, contend, debate, proclaim and cry
Never be denied

Forget the year remember the tears, find the anger the drive the will to survive
Lets say what we mean, lets cry and debate and persist ’til we’re seen
Paint a picture of the end of your world put it on the tallest spot and drag us to it make us learn
we all must in turn at some time “Be Heard!” remember the intent and the result and dont let it get blurred.

Maybe it’s the color the smear the face the curve the eyes, time to rise
rage in canvas rebel in pastel and shout in oil a love a hate a desire to toil
your choice, my desire, a friendly face, the feeling of fire
Intend to contend, confess to express, a ride but never a lie put in all on the frame.

It could be real deep this voice – it’s lean, sneaks up and pretends to be a strength, a new class of mean
And I have to say spray us a story, hurry up, don’t worry we’ll be chanting “Cry Out!”
Paint, sketch, carve, weld, sculpt, show us all your world
show us our way
stain, design, cleave, chisel and combine and scream ’til you faint
Be Heard

Writing a new verse i seem to miss a chance to converse with a friend she’s around
But I immerse myself in a scene of my own mind and no less terse obsess with this line
You see I’m screaming all the time in a blink a breath and no less with my pen
Its my sword its my word its my thought its my lord.

Cradle to my mind and as above I find my modus oris in writing these simple lines
and maybe someday they’ll find an ear that’ll hear me near and true
telling a truth and impact a few, I can do no else but stream some more
tips and phrases advice of sages meld together and create a world

An epiphany, could be this voice, may as well be my choice
paint the song i hear so clear, swim in the fire that burns so deep,
render the wings I use to fly, and carve my mind in a spirit so near
Call to us in a myriad of ways.
Express yourself. That truly is all.
Cry out, and help us all.




It’s alive!!!! (Server is back up :)

They’ve restored my webserver.

There should be quite a bit more content pumped in over the next few days, but I don’t want to overload the daily posts.
Stay tuned and have a great weekend!

-Tony