Tag: swimming

The River…

Stupid Kids and Stupid Dares…

We all started out as gutsy kids trying to prove ourselves to our friends and be the better in competition etc. Well when I was little, i liked swimming…alot…so much so that at 12 I was capable of most maneuvers and skills in advanced life saving despite being 6 years short of eligibility for it…

So…if you ever hear me say, “This water can take you out, swim this direction and start near this area. Otherwise the undertow might get you.” I would expect you to listen. But of course, I was only 12, and the kids around me had to see who was the most courageous. So after everyone got done daring, it was decided that everyone would dive in at the same time and swim close to a dangerous area. Well…except me, as apparently the 12 year old wasn’t big enough to go.

So they all lined up and dove off the dock into the water below. And as I figured, four of the kids realized they were being stupid and came back…but one guy wanted to be a tough one. So he went out to the hot spot and deliberately dumped his buoyancy…and immediately also started moving away with the current. Now the rest of the guys were all screaming for him to come back but wouldnt get out there to help him.

Into the water goes the 12 year old going after the guy twice his size crying his guts out and starting to dip under because he couldn’t remember just to stop freaking out.

Ever carried around a 100 pound sack of anything for 20 yards? Try swimming with one.

It took me twenty minutes to get back because the dolt wouldn’t stop freaking out and I wasn’t big enough to knock sense into him.

Now, was I scared? Yes…shitless. Was i confident in my ability? Not at all, but no one else was willing. Was the kid grateful? Not in the least, as a matter of fact he was so pissed off at the event that he beat me up two days later for implying that he could have handled things better.

@#$%ing moron. Luckily, I don’t remember ever having to deal with him again after that either.




A story of love…

The love story of Ralph and Edna…

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’

Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’

Happy Mental Health Day!




Inspiring…

For everyone that thinks that swimming is too much effort for to enrich their lives…